June 2011

Dreaming

15:52 16 June in Rhyme
5 Comments

Nine months ago I was having coffee with a friend. True to our ritual we discussed the latest bands and books, drank good coffee and solved the worlds’ problems.

I was reaching for the milk jug when he asked the question that would spoil my day.  A three-worded landmine planted in my heart that would only detonate much later as the weight of the matter hit home. “What’s your dream?” he asked.

“Huh?” I answered smoothly. “What’s your dream?” he asked again, “your ultimate?” And that’s the moment I realized that I had a better shot at growing a third head than having a ready answer.

It’s not that I didn’t have a dream; it’s just that it wasn’t familiar.  Like a cousin living in a distant town I could vouch for his existence, but I had forgotten what his laugh sounded like.

It bothered me. Like a bad hair day that just wouldn’t go away, I was continually confronted with the ugliness of the situation. Eventually the issue reached critical mass and a series of truth shaped shrapnel exploded in my mind.

Did I have even a shadow of a shot at realizing my dream if I couldn’t keep track of it? Was (gulp)… he (bigger gulp)…still (gigantic gulp)… alive? (insert stunned silence and bewildered eyes, followed by the gulp of all glory-hallelujah gulps here)

A lot has happened since.

I got in my car, travelled to Searchville and spent some time with my cousin. He loves a good Merlot, follows European soccer, and his crazy ideas excite and terrify me equally. I got to know him again, and discovered a couple of things about myself too.

The pursuit of our dreams might not always change the world, but it changes us.

I’m learning that it’s the programmed interruptions in life, like my alarm clock that’ll wake me in the morning from my nighttime dreaming. But it’s the unscheduled alarm bells found in small moments that will attempt to wake the dreams of my heart.

I’ve stopped pressing the snooze button, I’m waking up, and it feels good. No, let me correct myself. It feels great. There’s treasure to be found in the heart of those small moments, and with the grace of God, I’ll find it all.

Sommer net vir die lekker

14:23 05 June in Weeskinders
5 Comments

Party dae hou ek myself simpel, sommer vir die lekkerte daarvan.  Nie ‘n dwarstrekkerige, aspriste, “kyk-hoe-moeilik-kan-ek-die-lewe-vir-jou-maak” simpel nie, maar eerder ‘n “ek-doen-dit-want-ek-kan-en-dis-lieflik-lekker-vir-my” soort simpelheid.

Ek sit skewe valstande in net voor ek by die robot stilhou en kyk dan rustig links of regs na die ander motoriste se geskokte uitdrukkings. Ek steek vreemde voorwerpe in my huismaat se bed weg terwyl sy bad, of praat in ‘n swaar Britse aksent by die Mall met die mense. Eenmaal het ek by die kantoor uit ‘n boks gespring en die baas goed skrikgemaak. Sommer net.

Ander mag dit vreemd vind, en ek sal die eerste een wees wat saamstem. Dit is so ietwat aweregs ja. Maar soort soek soort, en ek is ‘n bietjie vreemd, so is dit dan nie vanselfsprekend dat ek ook van tyd tot tyd snaakse dinge sal aanvang nie?

Dis eintlik my ouma Uys se skuld. ‘n Eiewys en eksentrieke vrou met ‘n kop so hard soos ‘n kanonskoot. Op ‘n dag het sy haar so vererg vir my arme oupa wat sy tyd gevat het om vuurmaakhout in te bring, dat sy ‘n byl gegryp en die kombuistafel stukkend begin kap het. Die d in ons DNA, staan dalk vir dramaties.

Dis regtig nie asof ek vooraf sit en dink wat ek gaan doen om aandag te trek of reaksie uit te lok nie. Dit gaan geensins oor ander se opinies of opmerkings oor my mannewales nie. Nie eers amper nie.

Dis oor die sommer-net wat my in ‘n oomblik invaar. Omdat simpel wees vir my diep sin maak, en my soos Mia laat voel, dankie. Party mense het ‘n behoefte aan gereelde oefening. Ander raak semi-kens as hulle lanklaas in die natuur was. Ek verloor myself so stuk-stuk as ek nie gereeld genoeg goed simpel is nie.

Die punt wat ek probeer maak is dit.  Daar is dinge wat ons doen wat vir niemand anders belangrik is of lyk nie, maar wat broodnodig is om getrou te bly aan wie God ons gemaak het om te wees.  Ek dink een van die grootste dankies wat ons vir Hom kan sê is om te leef as die mens wat Hy gemaak het, en om dit goed en gereeld te doen.

Op daai noot, verskoon my eers, ek het skielik lus om saam met die seuntjie oorkant die pad te gaan sokker speel. Dit lyk verskriklik lekker.