Nine months ago I was having coffee with a friend. True to our ritual we discussed the latest bands and books, drank good coffee and solved the worlds’ problems.
I was reaching for the milk jug when he asked the question that would spoil my day. A three-worded landmine planted in my heart that would only detonate much later as the weight of the matter hit home. “What’s your dream?” he asked.
“Huh?” I answered smoothly. “What’s your dream?” he asked again, “your ultimate?” And that’s the moment I realized that I had a better shot at growing a third head than having a ready answer.
It’s not that I didn’t have a dream; it’s just that it wasn’t familiar. Like a cousin living in a distant town I could vouch for his existence, but I had forgotten what his laugh sounded like.
It bothered me. Like a bad hair day that just wouldn’t go away, I was continually confronted with the ugliness of the situation. Eventually the issue reached critical mass and a series of truth shaped shrapnel exploded in my mind.
Did I have even a shadow of a shot at realizing my dream if I couldn’t keep track of it? Was (gulp)… he (bigger gulp)…still (gigantic gulp)… alive? (insert stunned silence and bewildered eyes, followed by the gulp of all glory-hallelujah gulps here)
A lot has happened since.
I got in my car, travelled to Searchville and spent some time with my cousin. He loves a good Merlot, follows European soccer, and his crazy ideas excite and terrify me equally. I got to know him again, and discovered a couple of things about myself too.
The pursuit of our dreams might not always change the world, but it changes us.
I’m learning that it’s the programmed interruptions in life, like my alarm clock that’ll wake me in the morning from my nighttime dreaming. But it’s the unscheduled alarm bells found in small moments that will attempt to wake the dreams of my heart.
I’ve stopped pressing the snooze button, I’m waking up, and it feels good. No, let me correct myself. It feels great. There’s treasure to be found in the heart of those small moments, and with the grace of God, I’ll find it all.